For those Who Must Have It in Writing

The Official List of ADHD Symptoms

Because this book is a labor of love I have sacrificed my time and sanity and *reviewed the section on Attention-Deficit/Hyperactivity Disorder in the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders commonly referred to as the DSM . I consulted the DSM-IV-TR, fourth edition/text revision, published in 2000.
*Ok, maybe “reviewed” is a tad misleading, how about I “skimmed” it? The first time I read it, all I could glean was a series of noun, noun, verb, verb, etc... It has the long unbroken paragraphs of The New Yorker or a Faulkner novel without the incest and murder so I skipped the boring looking bits and got right down to the criteria displayed in a numbered outline format.

(Acronyms normally make my teeth ache, but I found this cool acronym search engine on the internet and found that DSM also stands for Dutch Sculpture Mariỏlle Van, Dasheen Mosaic Virus, Distinguished Service Medal, Doctor of Sacred Music, and Downing Street Memo, etc...; any of which I’m sure are more interesting than this diagnostic manual.

Maternal Genetics:

I come from a long line of hyperactive easily distractible people on my mother’s side. Here is a rare photo showing the agony of hyperactive talkative people being forced to be still and silent. Note the awkward placement of their hands and their desperate expressions. Seated on the lower left is my grandpa Adam Heintz and way over on the far lower right is his new bride, my grandma Suzie Heintz. (The only known photo of Grandma Suzie sitting.)

Something Nasty from France? A Brief Look at the Creation of Normal and his Ugly Brother Abnormal.

In his history of abnormal, Foucault describes three figures that make up the social structure of abnormality: “the human monster, the individual to be corrected and the masturbator.” See right there, that’s the problem with French philosophers. How can anyone concentrate on the intended topic when they bring masturbation into the equation? Grad school was full of phalluses, hymens and masturbators, my giggling got in the way of more advanced studies, which is why I put this in a footnote in my ms.because the word “masturbator” tends to lead readers (especially ADHD readers) off topic.

This Is My Brain Not on Drugs.

It’s morning, it’s Wednesday, I don’t know the date. The tea kettle whistles. I enter the kitchen, remove the kettle from the stove, and grab a teabag from the counter near the stove. I walk six feet to the cupboard to get a cup. I find myself down the hall in the bathroom with a teabag in my hand.
I do not know why I am in the bathroom. Did I need something in here that pushed the thought of cup out of my working memory? I assume that I wanted to be in the bathroom. I decide to take my medication. I take three pills every morning (one is for Attention Deficit).
I swallow one pill and notice the teabag. I pick it up and then realize I need to take two more pills. As I put the teabag down I momentarily forget what I’m doing. Taking a pill yes, but have I taken them already or getting ready to? And why is there a teabag on the bathroom counter? I don’t hear the kettle whistling. Is the water hot yet? I swallow a pill and hope I haven’t taken any of them twice....

Punctuation

The deeper meaning of semi-colons: emotional security in insecurity.

footnote love

I have a dream of some day writing a book that is over 80 percent footnotes. The mere thought makes me giddy. Footnotes are the second best reason to read Milton’s “Paradise Lost.”

my latest plan

I shall now embark upon the writing of mystery and/or horror books or maybe children's stories or maybe a children/mystery/horror book? I have always been very successful at scaring children.